Bush Refuses to Cut and Run from Tony Blair

WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) - In a recent press conference, President George W. Bush announced that he will not acknowledge Gordon Brown as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Instead, Bush has vowed to stay the course and will continue to recognize Tony Blair as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

According to the White House, President Bush's decision to stay the course on Tony Blair is due, in part, to the President's inability to create a good nickname for Gordon Brown. "As the decider, the President has not been able to select an extremely obvious nickname to assign Mr. Brown. While several options were presented, President Bush has yet to hear anything that speaks to his gut," said Deputy Press Secretary Dana Perino. The official position of the White House is that without a nickname, President Bush will not negotiate with members of the Axis of People.

"Truth is, I am just stumped on this Gordon Brown nickname thing. I call Condi 'Brown Sugar', so that one is taken. I used to call FEMA chief Mike Brown 'Brownie', so I thought about using 'Brownie 2', but 'Library Guy' informed me my choice included a homonym. Obviously, The Bible preaches against homonyms, so in that situation, I had to forfeit my right to choose. Until I decide on a gem, I will not cut and run from Tony Blair," noted President Bush. After making his statement, Bush swiftly stepped onto Air Force 1 with the intent of holding a nickname retreat in Crawford, Texas.

When probed by reporters, the White House has vehemently denied that politics have influenced Bush's decision to ignore Brown. It is rumored that Vice-President Dick Cheney has access to secret documents which contradict apolitical statements previously made by the White House. As indicated by an unnamed source, the Office of the Vice President had detailed plans to generate a nickname for Gordon Brown that would drive a wedge between the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and an unnamed advocacy group that refers to African Americans with politically correct terminology.