Monday, June 25, 2007

Creepy Text Messaging Guy Suddenly Single


NEW YORK (AP) - Following a barrage of socially inappropriate text messages, James Ronen has found himself suddenly single. After dating Ronen for two months, Beth Shapiro decided to promptly end her relationship after receiving four text messages in a twenty-second span last Saturday evening.

According to Ms. Shapiro, while eating dinner with her friend, she received consecutive text messages that read, "I am watching you! LOL! Jk! No, seriously I am watching you." Shapiro noted, "That guy was really creepy. At first, I was flattered because it was nice to know that dressing slutty was getting me some attention, but I got the chills when James sent a flurry of conversational text messages without any response on my end. Truthfully, I should have ended this relationship when I found out he referred to his parents as his roommates." In an effort to truly upset her family, Shapiro plans on exclusively dating Republicans.

Ronen, a twenty-five year old real estate agent living with his parents, claims he was just "goofing" with Beth Shapiro, who obviously did not get the joke. "This is a little ridiculous. I was just goofing. Clearly, she doesn't get my sense of humor, but I know that routine is gold. In fact, I started that routine with my roommates, who absolutely love it," said Ronen. Besides the 'I am watching you' routine, Ronen claims to have created other humorous text message material including: 'It was pretty funny when you didn't return my call', 'I saw you on an internet dating site immediately following our first date', and 'Do you want to take my text sex virginity?' Ronen's roommates state their son will be back on his feet shortly after receiving his new matches from Jdate.

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