Iran Condemns G8 for Changing its Bedtime

Tehran (AP) - In response to last week's Group of Eight (G8) summit, Iran has publicly condemned the G8 for recommending that an earlier bedtime be imposed on the Middle Eastern nation. Foreign Ministry Spokesman Mohammad-Ali Hosseini stated, "It is shocking the G8 could suggest that Iran go to bed a little earlier when Saudi Arabia and Jordan can go out as late as they want. Seriously, this is so unfair! Everyone knows that HBO is a lot more entertaining after midnight and we've really been looking forward to the next edition of Taxicab Confessions. Oh my god, this is so ridiculous! We did not sneak into Borat when we found out it received an R-rating and was made by a Zionist. What more do you want from us? We are so tired of watching Saudi Arabia get her way by ignoring her curfew. This is so lame." Iranian Official Mohammad-Ali Hosseini bit his lip to hold back tears, ran into his room and slammed the door.

When notified that Iran was unhappy about the results of the G8 summit, members of the G8 issued a prompt reply. On behalf of the nations in the G8, Vladimir Putin, President of Russia stated, "Sometimes Iran can be so ungrateful about all the privileges she has in her era. For example, when I was her age, I had to tread my way through snow just to fight the Cold War." Putin then ran his hands through his thinning hair and let out a deep sigh.

Iranian officials have declared that Iran will be playing a lot of Nintendo Wii at night, instead of reading books like the G8 suggested.