Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Bush to Award Medal of Contempt

WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) – As the House Judiciary Committee voted to cite two members of the Bush administration for contempt of Congress, the White House announced President Bush would officially present the Presidential Medal of Contempt next week.

Current White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten and former White House counsel Harriet Miers, both cited in contempt of Congress for their failure to comply with subpoenas issued in the investigation of the firings of eight U.S. attorneys, will be named recipients of the Presidential Medal of Contempt.

Bush, who will award the Medal of Contempt during a Congressional recess, is said to have scheduled the ceremony during recess in the hopes of joining the recipients for a game of kickball following the ceremony.

The ceremony will mark the inaugral Presidential Medal of Contempt event. Bush declared his passionate enthusiasm for the award. “I am honored to award these deserving Americans with the Presidential Medal of Contempt. Throughout my life, The Contempest has always been my favorite Shakespearian story. Bolten and Miers are like a couple of Montagues and Catapults. I love the way those fellas just tame the stew,” exclaimed a boisterous Bush.

The Democratic Congress reported a sense of outrage after being informed of Bush’s decision to recognize Miers and Bolton with an award.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stated the Democrats would respond swiftly to Bush’s continual practice of presenting awards to members of the administration with questionable records of service.

With Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid by her side, Pelosi said, “This nation has had enough of President Bush ceremoniously handing out medals to undeserving Americans like George Tenet, Harriet Miers, and Josh Bolten. To show that we will not stand for this abuse, the Democratic Congress will be presenting legislation to retroactively instate Opposite Day.”

Senator Reid added, “I look forward to attending the Presidential Medal of Contempt ceremony…Oops, looks like Opposite Day just started bitches!”

1 comment:

Kitties! said...

Como estan, beetches! Well, that was just funny.