Sunday, July 22, 2007

Jews for Jesus Stymied By A Game of Telephone

PHOENIX (AP) - Jews for Jesus, an organization dedicated to the conversion of Jews to Christianity, suffered a blow to its recruitment after a mix-up regarding the location of its July meeting. The organization, which reveals the location of its meetings through different interactive games, inappropriately chose to reveal the location of its upcoming meeting during a game of telephone. As a result, Jews for Fleeces reported a record number of attendees at its July meeting.

The two organizations were both met with a surprise on July 19 at Pizzeria Bianco on East Adams Street. Huddled in parkas and drinking hot cocoa, the three members of Jews for Fleeces embraced a group of enthusiastically creepy Jews for Jesus members. "I was really excited to see some new members this month. Their body heat really added something that was lacking at our recent meetings. I don't want to kvetch, but I get a little chilly sometimes. I spoke to a doctor about it, but I think I just have bad circulation," said Joshua Schwartz, Founder of Jews for Fleeces.

Andrew Vidansky, Western Region Membership Coordinator, took responsibility for the recent mishap. Citing past successes, Vidansky said, "As a legitimate organization, we are committed to supporting our events through interactive methods. Over time, we've found that our members eagerly anticipate monthly games which reveal the location of our meetings. Unfortunately, I am responsible for choosing the game of telephone to reveal this location. Last month, we played Red Rover and I swear it was a success." Vidansky admitted that he had not played telephone in years, but activities endorsing childhood nostalgia are generally not accepted by most cults. Thinking on his feet and attempting to recover from his error, he explained that this year's recruitment slogan is 'Jews for Jesus: You Can't Do That In Other Cults'.

Jews for Fleeces, an organization committed to keeping Jews warm despite their Semitic heritage, is the third least popular organization in Phoenix. Both Ma'ams for Spam and the Carlos Mencia Fan Club have fewer members.


Anonymous said...

That's really funny!

Anonymous said...

are kidding me? mind of mencia is da bomb! don't get me started on spam.

Anonymous said...

Haha, this is great! I'm a Jew, and I'm wearing a fleece right now!