Monday, July 16, 2007

Catholic Church Unveils 'Beauty & the Priest'

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Following a court settlement of $660 million between the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles and over 500 alleged victims of clergy abuse, the archdiocese has unveiled a plan to bolster its finances prior to the large payout. With support from the Vatican, the Los Angeles archdiocese announced the production of a new reality show titled Beauty & the Priest.

Beauty & the Priest , which will air on the FOX network, will focus on a young, handsome priest's quest to find the perfect Playboy Playmate to be baptized. According to FOX Entertainment president Kevin Reilly, "All of us at FOX are really excited about Beauty & the Priest. This show will combine the moral fiber of religion with the sex appeal generated by Playmates baptized in white t-shirts. We truly believe this is a win-win situation for FOX and the Roman Catholic Archdiocese." Unnamed sources have hinted the show will feature a significant twist midway through the season. It is rumored the show's producers will unexpectedly incorporate six altar boys into the series, forcing the priest to choose either a Playmate or an altar boy to win the prize of baptism.

On the heels of this announcement, television networks frantically scrambled to develop shows to compete with Beauty & the Priest. In a press release, ESPN announced its new series, Rope-a-Pope, which will feature 12 cardinals competing for the papacy in competitive boxing matches. Additionally, MTV revealed its latest chapter in the Road Rules series. Road Rules: Vatican Edition will follow six attractive, snotty college students from hilariously conflicting backgrounds as they spend 15 weeks with Pope Benedict XVI traveling in the Pope Mobile. The Pope and Road Rulers will be tasked with achieving religious miracles throughout the world. The adrenaline created by performing miracles will motivate the cast to get drunk, yell at each other, and have sex in a predictable, yet compelling format.


Alex said...

The last sentence of this post is easily one of my favorite lines you've written.

Anonymous said...

When is the show scheduled to be released? Or is it cancelled already? I've googled it, but nothing about the show came up, only contents regarding the book and such.