Thursday, December 27, 2007

Jesus to Mike Huckabee: 'Lose My Number'

(NB) - In what is perhaps the biggest break-up story of the year, Jesus has ended his relationship with Mike Huckabee. Although details of the break-up are largely unknown, both Jesus and a representative for Governor Huckabee confirmed that in the wake of a heated argument, Jesus told Huckabee to lose his phone number.

Huckabee Press Secretary Alice Stewart spoke on the behalf of a catatonic Governor Huckabee, "As you've seen from nearly every public appearance, Mike Huckabee had a very close, personal relationship with Jesus. Understandably, Governor Huckabee is extremely distraught at this moment. Mike Huckabee has such an affinity for Jesus that he speaks about him everywhere we go...I mean Mike Huckabee really, really loves Jesus."

With a significant amount of nonchalance, Jesus addressed the details of his relationship with Mike Huckabee. "First of all, I've got to say that Mike Huckabee is significantly dramatizing the events of our correspondence. Look, I really only spoke to the guy once. He had called me and asked about losing some weight, so I told him about Subway sandwiches. Our relationship was pretty casual, it's not like I helped him win an Oscar, a Grammy, or the Super Bowl. Anyway, Huckabee just would not stop calling me, so when I ran into him recently, I told him that I can't really endorse every Presidential candidate from both parties. He didn't seem to take the hint, so yeah, I suggested he lose my number," said Jesus.

While Jesus would not comment as to whether or not another relationship served as the catalyst for his break-up with Huckabee, he did note that he has a lot of options. Said Jesus, "Dude, are you kidding? I'm so hot right now. I just had a huge birthday party this week and everyone was celebrating. Well not everyone, Adam Sandler didn't respond to the evite, but everyone else was there. "

Jesus seemed confident he would not be losing sleep over Huckabee. Without mentioning specifics, Jesus claimed his social calendar was booked with requests for appearances at social events throughout the United States until November 4, 2008.


Anonymous said...

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Shea Kang said...

Good vibes. Everyday, all day. God Bless :)