Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Man Hit by Object, Realizes Entourage is Lousy


ARGOS, IN (NB) - Hardware shop employee Derek Ellis experienced a life changing incident on Sunday evening. Ellis, who was on his way to meet his three lifelong friends to watch HBO's Entourage, was temporarily unconscious after being hit by a local tractor. After receiving treatment at St. Joseph Regional Medical Center for short-term memory loss, Ellis was joined by his friends to watch the season finale of Entourage. As the episode concluded and his friends cheered, Ellis was appalled.

"What do you mean we watch that every week?!? Why would I care about a bunch of characters promoting a movie that doesn't actually exist?" asked an angry Ellis.

Ellis' chubby friend, Gabe McKinley, answered the question donning a backwards red cap, a baggy jersey, and some sneakers, "Chill out E. We love this show. It's just like our real life and how we interact as friends."

Unable to remember that his group of friends refer to each other by Entourage character names, Ellis responded, "Why are you calling me E? My name is Derek."

In an attempt to pacify an angering Ellis, his good-looking friend, Ben Jackson, responded with absolutely nothing insightful. In his designer jeans, Jackson tapped his buddy's shoulder and chimed into the conversation. "Relax E, if it's meant to be, it'll happen," said a vapid Jackson.

Jackson's older brother, Jackson Jackson added, "Hey baby bro, I think E just needs me to make him an omelet and scream 'Victory'! I bet one of these nurses would fuck me."

An increasingly hostile Ellis replied, "Have you lost your minds? That show has nothing to do with our lives. We don't travel in fancy transportation, we don't hang out with models, and we don't live in mansions. Like the vast majority of Americans, that show doesn't relate to our lives. Wake up douchebags and stop calling me E!"

Ellis concluded the night by saying goodbye to his friends and counting down the days until Curb Your Enthusiasm finally returns to HBO.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Enlightenment in Argos abounds...