Monday, October 29, 2007

Chuck Norris Still Endorsing Things

DALLAS (NB) - After receiving significant media attention for his endorsement of Republican candidate Mike Huckabee for President of the United States, Chuck Norris has attempted to stage a comeback by releasing a flurry of endorsements.

Norris, a martial arts expert who had starred in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger, proudly discussed his strategy for enhancing his profile.

"Endorsing Mike Huckabee for President has really motivated people to talk about Chuck Norris again and not in a Walker, Texas Ranger embarrassing kind of way. It's led me to an epiphany about the power of endorsements. Before, I would just recommend Chili's Awesome Blossom to my friends, but now I let everyone know that Chuck Norris officially endorses the Awesome Blossom found at Chili's restaurants. It's really terrific...I mean awesome," stated an excited Norris.

Norris also noted that he endorses The Rock to stop beating him out for movies he should certainly be cast in, Mountain Dew, and his wife to use a little less salt in her cooking.

While the Huckabee for President campaign did not respond to the Norris endorsement, Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo was disappointed he did not win the coveted Norris endorsement.

Congressman Tancredo said, "I am disappointed that I did not receive the Chuck Norris endorsement. Obviously, as someone who hates Mexicans, I am a huge proponent of Walker, Texas Ranger patrolling our Southern borders. With that said, I still believe we will win the endorsement of Dog the Bounty Hunter."

In response to all of the media attention focused on the Chuck Norris endorsement, Mr. T announced he would endorse anyone who would give him a job.

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