Turkey to Withdraw From Thanksgiving

ISTANBUL (NB) - In a week marking turbulent relations between the United States and Turkey, a Turkish official declared that if Congress passes a resolution declaring the killings of Armenians as genocide, Turkey will no longer be a part of Thanksgiving.

Turkish ministry spokesman Levent Bilman addressed Turkey's position. "There will be serious ramifications if the United States Congress passes this resolution. Besides recalling our ambassador to the U.S. and cutting our ties to the U.S. military, we will no longer be a part of Thanksgiving. We recognize the importance of Thanksgiving to Americans and we hope they remember you can't spell Thanksgiving without Turkey...Well, at least you can't spell Thanksgiving without the letters 't' and 'k', which are definitely found in the word Turkey," said Bilman.

The congressional resolution focuses on the killings of up to 1.5 million Armenians by Ottoman Turks. While many scholars label the event as genocide, Turkey asserts that the deaths were not systematic, which is a crucial element to the definition of genocide. Since Turkey offers the United States logistical support in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, American politicians have had a particularly partisan reaction to the resolution.

Despite threats from Turkey, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has vowed to push ahead with the resolution. According to Pelosi, "It saddens me that Turkey has threatened to pull out of Thanksgiving, but truthfully, my constituents in San Francisco don't even eat turkey anymore. As a constituency group with a significant amount of vegetarians, we prefer Tofurkey."

President Bush has continued to speak out against the resolution. After publicly denouncing the resolution last week, Bush plans to address the nation regarding the recent developments between the United States and Turkey this week. According to White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, Bush will hold a press conference regarding the resolution as soon as he can master the word tryptophan.