Monday, November 19, 2007

Bonds' Attorney: SF Giants' World Series Trophy Will Testify for Bonds

SAN FRANCISCO (NB) - Following last week's indictment of Barry Bonds, Michael Rains, Bonds' defense attorney has revealed part of his strategy to see that his client is not found guilty. According to Rains, the defense is relying heavily upon the testimony of the San Francisco Giants' World Series Trophy.

Rains discussed his strategy with skeptical members of the press who pointed out that the San Francisco Giants have never won the World Series. "You get it? That's the whole point! Don't you think if my client had been using performance enhancing drugs the team would have won the World Series? I mean...come on! I know that other members of Giants' teams like Matt Williams and Benito Santiago have been accused of using performance enhancing drugs, but it is common knowledge that any decent team with multiple cheaters would have been able to win the World Series just once," stated Rains.

Besides the testimony of the fictional trophy, the Hulk and He-Man are expected to testify on behalf of Bonds noting the use of similar work out programs.

Bonds, who was not available for comment, released a statement that he would spend this week being thankful for form-fitting stretch fabrics.


Lindsey said...

November 19th, 2007:

Announcing the creation of the Welsh/San Francisco Giants Fans Against Noah Lot More. That's WSFGFANLM for short. For the first time in history, these two sadly neglected yet resilient and just a bit bitter groups UNITE! Grrrrrr.

Jamie said...

WSFGFANLM ??? Sounds like where i was born in the Valleys (the Welsh ones as opposed to the San Fernando ones!!)

Billy said...

Most ballplayers today are taking homeopathic growth hormone oral spray because it's safe, undetectable, and legal for over the counter sales. As time goes on it seems it might be considered as benign a performance enhancer as coffee, aspirin, red bull, chewing tobacco, and bubble gum.