Where Are They Now? - Joe Biden

Have you ever wondered what happened to someone once featured prominently in the news cycle only to disappear? This week, Noah Lot More profiles Senator Joe Biden to find out what he's been up to.

Profile: The senior Senator from Delaware, Joseph Robinette "Joe" Biden, Jr. was born on November 20, 1942. Elected to the Senate at the age of 29, Biden is the fifth youngest Senator ever elected to office. During his 35 years as a United States Senator, Biden has served as the Chairman of the Senate Committe on Judiciary and currently serves as the Chairman of the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations.

On August 22, 2008, it was announced Joe Biden would be joining Senator Barack Obama as his running mate on the Democractic Presidential Election ticket. Political analysts believed Obama's choice to select Biden as his running mate was a brilliant move to bolster Obama's foreign policy credentials and support among Catholics and blue collar workers.

During the Democratic National Convention, Biden officially accepted the role of the Democratic Vice Presidential nominee on August 27, 2008.

Where Are They Now?: Following Biden's appearance with Barack Obama at the conclusion of the Democratic National Convention on August 28, 2008 Senator Joe Biden has not been seen. Early speculations that a Clinton had "taken care of" Biden in a fit of jealousy over his Vice Presidential nod, have turned out to be false.

On August 29, 2008 Senator John McCain introduced Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. If anyone knows of the whereabouts of Senator Joe Biden since August 29, 2008 please contact Barack Obama's Presidential campaign at 866-675-2008 or at the following website: Obama Campaign Contact Us Web Page.

Bill Richardson: A New Mexican Willing To Do the Jobs Americans Won’t Do

ALBUQUERQE, NM (AP) - In an attempt to energize his bid for President, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson unveiled a new campaign slogan. The slogan, 'Bill Richardson: A New Mexican Willing To Do the Jobs Americans Won't Do' unintentionally catalyzed discussion about illegal immigration.

Standing outside of an Albuquerque-based Home Depot, Richardson let the American people know he is actively looking for work. “I am asking the people of the United States to employ me to be their next President. No one in their right mind wants to be President of the United States, which is why I have chosen Bill Richardson: A New Mexican Willing To Do the Jobs Americans Won’t Do as my new campaign slogan. In fact, not only do I have all of my candidacy papers right here, but I am willing to do this job for half the cost of the other candidates,” said Governor Richardson.

Richardson addressed voters by pointing out the differences between him and the other candidates. A candid Richardson mentioned, “Is everyone fucking crazy? A Senator hasn’t been elected President since Kennedy. It is ridiculous that the three leading Democratic candidates are all Senators while the leading Republican candidates have experience in the Executive branch of government. Do you really want the Republicans to win the Presidency again?!?”

Richardson pleaded, “Look, I understand that minority candidates are cool right now, but why has everyone forgotten that I am half Mexican? It might be my Anglo-Saxon name, but I swear that I am a minority too! It’s like I need to bang a dude to get some attention over here.”

The announcement from the Richardson campaign sparked a strong response from Republican presidential candidates. Rudy Giuliani, who pledged to end all illegal immigration as President, was the first Republican to respond to the Richardson campaign.

“If we elect a New Mexican to be President, al Qaeda will exploit our porous borders. This threat solidifies my commitment to put an end to illegal immigration. If elected, I promise to end all illegal immigration by Septembering the 11th,” stated a determined Giuliani.

Also quick to respond to the Richardson campaign was Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo. Tancredo, who not only accidentally deported Jesus, but recently declared he’d bomb Islamic holy sites as a method of retaliating against a terrorist attack, had a fierce reaction to the Richardson campaign slogan.

“We cannot, under any circumstances, allow Bill Richardson to be President of the United States of America. His mother is Mexican and he is from New Mexico…Holy Shit! That’s like one and a half Mexicans in one person,” said Tancredo.

Confusing Spanish and Pig Latin, Tancredo concluded, “Bill Ichardson-ray for Resident-pay sounds like a mucho problemo for the American economyway.”

Surprising many, Senator John McCain did not comment on the Richardson statement. Although unconfirmed, it has been reported that McCain, who finished next to last in this week’s Iowa straw poll, was seen drunk and depressed sitting behind the wheel of his campaign bus ‘The Straight Talk Express’. Reportedly, McCain had pulled alongside the road to mix a few drinks outside of the campaign bus, which now features recent graffiti declaring the bus ‘The Fellate Cock Express’.