Thompson Unaware of Presidential Candidacy

BURLINGTON, IOWA (NB) - In a series of personal letters obtained by an unnamed source, Former Senator Fred Thompson discussed his confusion about questions from the media asking about his qualifications to be President of the United States.

One excerpt from a letter portrays Thompson as a befuddled, apathetic man:

I don't understand why Jeri wanted to take a family vacation to Iowa, but it's pretty cold here. We've been doing a rural tour and I can't believe how many people here watch Law & Order. Obviously, it is a popular show because people keep taking pictures of me here. So many Iowans ask me about my plans for the future, but I keep telling them that I am not too interested in the future. I guess these Iowans are really impressed by actors, but they don't seem to realize I am uninterested in working hard. It's the reason I became an actor. By the way, the television at the hotel does not get any good channels.

The letters discovered also indicate Thompson is completely unaware of his candidacy for President:

Still in Iowa with Jeri. Ran out of Ritalin today, so I've stopped watching tv, but found some cools clips of cats riding skateboards on YouTube. Jeri told me today I might be cast as the President in a film version of the West Wing. I guess it's sorta ok, but she says I need to act Presidential at all times. I'm not particularly interested in the role of President, but Jeri can't stop buying Jimmy Choo's. Am I the only person who finds it a little too convenient that a guy named Jimmy Choo just happens to make shoes? Boy, writing makes me tired. I think I am going to eat some cookies and take a nap.

Although the letters have been released just days before the Iowa Caucus, experts agree Thompson's polling numbers might benefit from the revelation that he has been tricked into running for President by his wife Jeri. In response to the Thompson letters, the Romney campaign has also attempted to portray it's candidate as a victim of circumstance. As a result, pictures of a young Romney being forced to wear silly Mormon underwear as a child were leaked to www.SexyMormonsWhoLoveAbortionUntilRunningForPresident.net.